EQ & Interpersonal
Ways to be kinder, have better relationships, and annoy people less (everyone is a bit annoying, it's okay)
“Don’t come to with problems, come to me with options"
You’ve probably heard the very annoying and useless phrase, “don’t come to me with problems, come to me with solutions”?
Concept: Vulnerability hoarding
Using vulnerability, frailty, sensitivity, etc. to shut down or derail the conversation, or to make the person who’s upset with you start apologising and comforting you instead.
Expect a dopamine crash after an accomplishment
After high energy social engagement, especially one where youre performing, youll usually get a mood drop when coming "off stage" because of dropping adrenaline & dopamine levels.
A way to soothe yourself when you're frustrated that someone is being terrible at their job
The first way, you probably already know it, is to remind yourself that they might be having a really hard day, maybe they have just received terrible news about a loved one and their mind is not on the job.
It's okay to do something in a sub-optimal way
More importantly: it's okay for someone else to do something in a sub-optimal way.
How to approach a potential mentor (if you want a mentor)
Step 1, how you've done the obvious things that would be on the front page of google.
“If someone gifts you money, are they allowed to tell you what to do with it?"
Debt is a mental and emotional construct, not a tangible thing. There's a difference between technical debt and the emotion of indebtedness
I can't think of a single time when it would be appropriate to say "Be careful" to someone
People say it to people who are about to go on holiday and that is... what are you doing? They are trying to have a nice time and take a break. Tell them to have fun!
Fake smiles are real smiles: a more complicated view of authenticity
What people usually call a fake smile is a deliberate smile rather than a spontaneous one. I just... so strongly dispute the idea that deliberate communication is less real than instant reaction.
The catharsis model of anger is a myth. 'Letting off steam' makes you feel more angry, more frequently.
The basic problem with this idea is that it's been disproven in a tonne of studies.