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EQ & Interpersonal

Ways to be kinder, have better relationships, and annoy people less (everyone is a bit annoying, it's okay)

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Two ways of holding an opinion: Extreme but easily swayed, moderate but deeply entrenched

Two ways of holding an opinion: Extreme but easily swayed, moderate but deeply entrenched

If you don't realise which type of opinion-holder you're dealing with, conflict will escalate

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"Am I overreacting?" Excerpts from Dear Prudence

"Am I overreacting?" Excerpts from Dear Prudence

I read Daniel Lavery nee Ortberg's advice column, and there's a theme that comes up a lot in his answers: 'You are not overreacting, you are reacting.'

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Fake smiles are real smiles: a more complicated view of authenticity

Fake smiles are real smiles: a more complicated view of authenticity

What people usually call a fake smile is a deliberate smile rather than a spontaneous one. I just... so strongly dispute the idea that deliberate communication is less real than instant reaction.

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Addictions shape social interactions

Addictions shape social interactions

Technological progress makes addictive things more concentrated and effective - from opium to heroin, willowbark to aspirin, myspace to facebook.

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Which side will your margin of error fall on?

Which side will your margin of error fall on?

If your plan is based around perfect judgement and no mistakes ever, that is a terrible plan.

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"I'd trust them with my life"
is the worst way to indicate that you trust someone a lot!

"I'd trust them with my life" is the worst way to indicate that you trust someone a lot!

Someone stole my bike a few months ago, but I don't think that person would have murdered me. So I'd trust them with my life but not my bike.

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We all have a touch of narcissism

We all have a touch of narcissism

That's what flattery is - upholding someone else's image of themselves.

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A thorough review of secrets: sharing them, keeping them, betraying them

A thorough review of secrets: sharing them, keeping them, betraying them

1. If you share something private, always tell the person explicitly to keep it confidential - don't assume they'll know to

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Suggestion for people who want to do stuff with friends, but get frustrated organising groups of friends to do stuff

Suggestion for people who want to do stuff with friends, but get frustrated organising groups of friends to do stuff

Don't ask people if they want to do something - tell them what you're doing and ask if they want to come along

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"What the heck does the word 'should' mean? It's easily my least favourite word in the English language."

"What the heck does the word 'should' mean? It's easily my least favourite word in the English language."

You don't like it because of this blurring between its two uses. For example, people often give advice without saying what the advice is for.