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Unsolicited Advice

Why wait for readers to ask questions before suggesting solutions? An advice column that cuts out the middleman.

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Tips for becoming more assertive

Tips for becoming more assertive

People will tell you to practise by starting small – “I would like a table near the window, thanks.” “I don’t want mayo on my sandwich, please.”

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it gets harder to focus for long periods as you age

Your ability to focus declines after 30 (it’s not just because smartphones)

There are two totally separate systems that govern attention: your ability to maintain focus on the thing (‘enhancement’), and your ability to tune out other things (‘suppression’).

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It's not cheating to use the skills that make it easier for you

The Wile E. Coyote Principle: Stop doing things the hard way

Wile E. Coyote has some pretty good tools for catching prey, namely: teeth, claws etc. But he always uses methods he's unskilled at.

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How to give unsolicited advice (if you really must)

How to give unsolicited advice (if you really must)

Today’s unsolicited advice is that no one likes unsolicited advice, and most people are very bad at giving it usefully.

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the psychological principles that make a personal kanban so effective

How I used a personal kanban to stop my brain turning into soup during lockdown

Once you understand the psychological principles that make kanbans so powerful, you can apply them to any productivity system.

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Fear of the unknown is a false but widely repeated fear

There is no such thing as “fear of the unknown”

Say you get a promising job offer in a distant city and you’re nervous about accepting it. Are you afraid of "the unknown", or are you afraid the job will suck and you won't be able to make any new friends there?

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understanding different conversation styles - interviewers and volunteers

Interviewers vs Volunteers: What type of conversationalist are you?

Interviewer see talking about yourself as arrogant and expect the other person not to do too much. Volunteers see talking about yourself as being vulnerable and expect the other person to do their fair share.

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don't apologise for being boring in conversation

It's insulting to apologise for boring your conversation partner

The apology unintentionally says “I assume you’re not into [topic] AND I assume you can’t get interested in topics outside your personal interests.” Not nice assumptions!

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wear fancy house clothes and feel better

Reasons to wear fancy houseclothes (written pre-pandemic)

They can be costumes, they can be the clothes you wish you would wear outside but won’t (my most recent robe is a rainbow space galaxy with sweeping sleeves and a watercolour unicorn on the back)

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more useful things to do than scrolling social media on your phone when you have to wait

11 things to do instead of scrolling social media when you have a few minutes to kill

Like your date’s gone to the bathroom, or your lunch is in the microwave. You probably don’t want to be so compulsive about your phone, but what else are you gonna do while you wait?