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EQ & Interpersonal

Ways to be kinder, have better relationships, and annoy people less (everyone is a bit annoying, it's okay)

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'Apartners' - what it's like to live apart from your husband or wife

On living apart from your spouse

It’s really nice knowing that, every time you see your partner, it’s because they made the choice to be with you, not just because they happened to be in the same physical location by chance anyway.

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Photo of Author Dave Farland. Not everything is fixable, and that's better than the alternative.

It's okay that not everything is fixable

There's a fallacy that if we can define the solution space, a solution must exist that fits there. But the fundamental problem was, "Dave is dead."

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Chronos is clock time, whereas kairos is living time.

Chronos vs Kairos: Understanding how the Ancient Greeks viewed time will make your life richer

“Chronos” is measured and counted, while “kairos” is lived and experienced

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Is it cowardly to break up with someone via text? (No)

Is it cowardly to break up with someone via text? (No)

A text break-up is a sign that one person did not trust the other (good reason to break up, hey). Why would you automatically assume that mistrust was irrational?

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On favour-sharking (emotional loan-sharking)

On favour-sharking (emotional loan-sharking)

Favour-sharking is when someone does a favour for you totally unasked for and possibly unwanted, in order to make you feel obligated to them.

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Expanders: People who expand your sense of what's possible in a life

Expanders: People who expand your sense of what's possible in a life

They're not necessarily role models - you might not want to be like them in a lot of ways - but when you meet them you realise your life could be a bit bigger.

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"How do you know when you're actually right about something and it's not just hubris and confirmation bias?"

"How do you know when you're actually right about something and it's not just hubris and confirmation bias?"

You never know you're right, you just settle into a state of "this is how it looks to me at the moment"

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"If it's rude to interrupt, how do you politely interrupt someone who (rudely) interrupts/talks over you?"

"If it's rude to interrupt, how do you politely interrupt someone who (rudely) interrupts/talks over you?"

It's part of a bigger question of, "when someone breaks the social contract, how do you operate in the new, broken environment?"

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When teaching someone how to do something, tell them how to do it badly

When teaching someone how to do something, tell them how to do it badly

Whenever you can't do something exactly as you should, when something has to give, you need the expert to tell you what to prioritise and what to do 'badly'.

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Wanting something is only barely related to enjoying something

Wanting something is only barely related to enjoying something

The brain system that makes you feel an urge to get something - whether that's food, seeing friends, a cigarette - is separate from system of enjoying something.