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EQ & Interpersonal

Ways to be kinder, have better relationships, and annoy people less (everyone is a bit annoying, it's okay)

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The catharsis model of anger is a myth. 'Letting off steam' makes you feel more angry, more frequently.

The catharsis model of anger is a myth. 'Letting off steam' makes you feel more angry, more frequently.

The basic problem with this idea is that it's been disproven in a tonne of studies.

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On overthinking things, and telling people not to overthink things

On overthinking things, and telling people not to overthink things

Pretty close to 100% of the people who have told me not to overthink things are people with a history of poor decision-making.

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If someone says "I don't like [thing]", resist the urge to say "you just haven't tried the right [thing]!"

If someone says "I don't like [thing]", resist the urge to say "you just haven't tried the right [thing]!"

Or "But have you tried [specific version of thing]?" You know it's annoying so stop yourself.

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"Is it tacky to tell someone the gift you got them is high-value?"

"Is it tacky to tell someone the gift you got them is high-value?"

A gift that requires special care is giving them an object, but taking away their time - since most people are time-poor rather than object-poor, this may not be a good trade-off.

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Stop saying "I wouldn't have expected you to like that!"

Stop saying "I wouldn't have expected you to like that!"

Learn to bite your tongue on this one because it is massively annoying (as you probably know, since it's probably happened to you).

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Old happy couples: running out of things to talk about vs being able to be silent together

Old happy couples: running out of things to talk about vs being able to be silent together

What a blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.

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I can't think of a single time when it would be appropriate to say "Be careful" to someone

I can't think of a single time when it would be appropriate to say "Be careful" to someone

People say it to people who are about to go on holiday and that is... what are you doing? They are trying to have a nice time and take a break. Tell them to have fun!

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“If someone gifts you money, are they allowed to tell you what to do with it?"

“If someone gifts you money, are they allowed to tell you what to do with it?"

Debt is a mental and emotional construct, not a tangible thing. There's a difference between technical debt and the emotion of indebtedness

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A way to soothe yourself when you're frustrated that someone is being terrible at their job

A way to soothe yourself when you're frustrated that someone is being terrible at their job

The first way, you probably already know it, is to remind yourself that they might be having a really hard day, maybe they have just received terrible news about a loved one and their mind is not on the job.

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It's okay to do something in a sub-optimal way

It's okay to do something in a sub-optimal way

More importantly: it's okay for someone else to do something in a sub-optimal way.