EQ & Interpersonal
Ways to be kinder, have better relationships, and annoy people less (everyone is a bit annoying, it's okay)
Perfectionists don’t think they’re perfectionists, they think they’re good-enoughists
Perfectionists don't feel like they need things perfect. They're just trying to do the bare minimum, and it’s killing them — because their conception of “the minimum” is badly skewed.
A better question than ‘what do you do?’
What you want is something that a) sounds pretty normal, you’re not going too far off social script and b) has a range of possible interpretations, so they can dodge any uncomfortable topics.
Phrasing questions to experts so you get answers that will actually help you
Don't ask "Can I use x technique?" Ask "What effect does x technique have? When is a good time to use it?"
Make difficult life decisions by separating the emotional phase from the execution phase
The main reason people feel stuck is because they’re trying to figure out what they want and what they’re going to do about it at the same time. The result is gridlock in your mind.
“Narcissists ruin self-love for the rest of us”
People try so hard to avoid being seen as narcissistic, so only narcissists advocate for themselves at all, which is not a great system for selecting who has power and influence in society.
Unsolicited recommendations are the same thing as unsolicited advice
Recommendations are advice, you’re literally advising that they watch/listen/read something. Unsolicited advice is obnoxious but tempting.
Concept: “Vulnerability hangover”
It’s the jolt of fear/shame/angst that you get when you do something that exposes yourself a little — which can be anything from telling a loved one a long-hidden secret, to tweeting something mildly honest.
Who gets to decide if something’s 'unforgiveable’?
He never spoke to her again; when she died, half a century later, he refused to visit her deathbed or attend her funeral. “Tell her,” he said, “that she never knew how much I valued what she broke.”
A better way to do 'emotion-processing' journalling
The key difference: destroy the pages immediately afterwards in a very thorough way, and pay attention while you’re doing it so the memory is locked in. Destroy them even if you wrote something bland.
Decide on your own key life anniversaries and celebrate them
It feels good to have your calendar marked out with some days that are meaningful to you instead of just ones chosen by other people.