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McKinley Valentine

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I can't think of a single time when it would be appropriate to say "Be careful" to someone

I can't think of a single time when it would be appropriate to say "Be careful" to someone

People say it to people who are about to go on holiday and that is... what are you doing? They are trying to have a nice time and take a break. Tell them to have fun!

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That time I wrote down every single object I own

That time I wrote down every single object I own

Last weekend I did a big declutter and then did the mildly psychopathic thing of writing down everything I own in a spreadsheet.

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Rec for fiction writers who are struggling to actually write

Rec for fiction writers who are struggling to actually write

The Couch to 80k 8-week writing bootcamp is a free 20-minute podcast with, and this is the bit that makes it marvellous, timed writing sessions.

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Fake smiles are real smiles: a more complicated view of authenticity

Fake smiles are real smiles: a more complicated view of authenticity

What people usually call a fake smile is a deliberate smile rather than a spontaneous one. I just... so strongly dispute the idea that deliberate communication is less real than instant reaction.

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The catharsis model of anger is a myth. 'Letting off steam' makes you feel more angry, more frequently.

The catharsis model of anger is a myth. 'Letting off steam' makes you feel more angry, more frequently.

The basic problem with this idea is that it's been disproven in a tonne of studies.

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I don’t buy the “cult of busyness” argument

I don’t buy the “cult of busyness” argument

People say they’re “busy” because it’s the only kind of No anyone respects.

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Old happy couples: running out of things to talk about vs being able to be silent together

Old happy couples: running out of things to talk about vs being able to be silent together

What a blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.

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How to survive solitary confinement

How to survive solitary confinement

From someone who's been through it: you'll go crazy anyway, so go crazy with intention, to protect your brain.

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Stop saying "I wouldn't have expected you to like that!"

Stop saying "I wouldn't have expected you to like that!"

Learn to bite your tongue on this one because it is massively annoying (as you probably know, since it's probably happened to you).

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"Is it tacky to tell someone the gift you got them is high-value?"

"Is it tacky to tell someone the gift you got them is high-value?"

A gift that requires special care is giving them an object, but taking away their time - since most people are time-poor rather than object-poor, this may not be a good trade-off.